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Tuesday, 4 January 2011

Not A Bad Lump After All

I had an appointment at the breast clinic this morning. Not a routine one, I might add, but one that was rushed through. I was told not to worry, but how do you not worry? How do you stay calm and not consider what would happen to your child, your pets, your business if you were suddenly no longer here? I had 2 hours to kill. I stopped pacing the bedroom and looked at my face in the mirror. I didn't look like a woman with cancer, but what does a woman with cancer look like? After all, until you are told that you have it, you don't have it, but you do have it if you get my gist, but just don't know it yet. I looked again at my healthy looking face and experimented with a smile. I could have breast cancer this very moment and not know it.

It all started last May when I found a small pea-sized lump above my breat tissue. Who knows how long it had been there before I noticed it, but not wishing to make it real, not wishing to be neurotic, not wanting to jump to conclusions, I left it to its own devices for a few weeks. It was only when I mentioned it to a friend and she told me the only way to remove my stress was to face it and do it anyway that I took it for a visit to my doctor. He was immediately unimpressed and declared it to be a cyst, not on the breast tissue, and that it would eventually disappear or not depending on its attitude.

Last month I took my pneumonia, then an illness with no name, to the doctor to be identified, and while I was feeling that I was about to die anyway he brought up the subject of the cyst once more and checked it out again. Surprised that it was still there he assured me that there was no cause for alarm but that he wanted a second opinion and fast. Would you start to worry at around that stage?

So here I am, glad to be allowed to live, singing the praises of an amazing NHS breast surgery unit and the incredibly sensitive, friendly and efficient staff there and learning to love my little lump which turned out to be nothing but a fatty deposit, described by the consultant as something similar to a zit! I could have it removed, but I think I'll keep it.

16 comments:

  1. So glad to hear you got the all clear! You must have worried a lot though, waiting to find out. I had a breast lump checked out many years ago and it turned out to be a cyst of some type that decided to disappear before I had to go back to be checked again. Since then I've survived cancer (endometrial and cervical) and am clear long enough now not to worry (except the occasional niggle) I understand you deciding not to get the lump removed, I wouldn't want surgery again unless I really needed it.

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  2. Blimey Pam. The things women go through! I'm really pleased to hear you don't have to worry either any longer. I thought I'd put this information out there in case anyone was wondering what to do and to reassure them. It's only when people start talking about these things that they realise what other women have experienced.

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  3. So glad you're OK - you're going through it the mo aren't you.

    Stay healthy.
    Suz

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  4. You're both amazing! I never knew any of this Amanda in all the time I've been bantering online with you....sorry if I missed it along the way!! Just wanted to say thanks for all the times you've cheered me up and made me laugh even while you've been worried sick about all this going on.....I only hope I can keep my head if it ever happened to me xx

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  5. Bloody hell Chicken! So glad you're ok.

    And @Averilpam - glad you're doing well too!

    :) xx

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  6. I am so glad you are lumpy but healthy!!
    Thank you for sharing this, if it even reassures one more woman and makes them feel able to have a lump checked then its all for the positive.
    My mum had breast cancer twice before she was 45 and i live in dread of anything i find, at 30 i am now at peak risk for the next 20 years. My doctor will be sick of me having EVERYTHING checked soon i think, but i will not leave it to chance. xx

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  7. Good to hear its not a bad lump! Take care x

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  8. Glad to hear it's a good lump.
    I've never had a lump like that but i've had leukaemia 4 times and cancerous cells removed. I'm on lifelong chemo at present unless a miracle drug is invented. Lots of hugs. xxx

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  9. It is amazing how humans deal with what's thrown at them. You just have to get on with it, accept it and keep going, I guess. So, all you wonderful people, onwards and upwards no matter what!

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  10. What a relief! Glad all is well. Take care
    :-) Dottie x

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  11. so relieved! (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

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  12. Amanda, I'm so relieved that your lump was benign. You and the other ladies are an inspiration to us all. Many thanks for sharing this news with us.
    Big Hugs
    Liz
    x

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  13. So glad your ok
    hope you don't mind but i have nominated you for a stylish blogger award
    xxxxxx

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    Free Digital Scrapbooking

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  15. I'm glad to hear your little lump is harmless!

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  16. I'm always delighted to hear good news like this. I had breast cancer about 11 years ago. Praise God I am a survivor. I have been cancer free of a peritoneal cancer for a year this month. This cancer is everything in the abdomen, tissue, blood, omen-tum, ovaries, bladder, appendix... Only by the grace of God am I able to tell you I am a survivor. I was in bed for a year. I had 5 surgeries and was hospitalized every 6 weeks for extensive treatments. Don't ever wait. Know matter how scary it is always better to catch things early.

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